You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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