Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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