i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
21 Times Karma Showed These People Not to Mess Around
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week