Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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