I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
