That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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