butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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