See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
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