I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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