Christians are straight up FREAKS
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Randomize
