My balls are so social today.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
