This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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