so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
