Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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