Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
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