My hand turned me down
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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