He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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