It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
