what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
foreskin is a definite game changer
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
