I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
