here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
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