3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
