Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
