we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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