...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
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