How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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