just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
