grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize