carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Randomize
