she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
