Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
