There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Randomize
