i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
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When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
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Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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