i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
