Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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