im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
