Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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