at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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