States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.