even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED