Texts From Last Night

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  (805): View more from California

  She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up

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  (805): She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up http://tfl.nu/rsnf
  Replies (36) Good night (889) Bad night (3565)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.

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  (215): After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk. (610): I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect. http://tfl.nu/dim5
  Replies (43) Good night (14127) Bad night (959)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth

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  (206): tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth http://tfl.nu/91m9
  Replies (16) Good night (1459) Bad night (3389)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time

  (1-309): View more from Illinois

  I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating

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  (309): I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time (1-309): I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating http://tfl.nu/74eg
  Replies (21) Good night (4927) Bad night (1232)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.

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  (617): now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon. http://tfl.nu/epth
  Replies (14) Good night (3062) Bad night (1954)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?

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  (307): How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots? http://tfl.nu/gvsx
  Replies (13) Good night (3621) Bad night (905)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right

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  (724): you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right http://tfl.nu/sfkm
  Replies (20) Good night (4644) Bad night (1823)
• Favorite

  (979): View more from Texas

  Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again

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  (979): Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again http://tfl.nu/ae74
  Replies (5) Good night (2795) Bad night (810)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.

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  (203): I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest. http://tfl.nu/16wx
  Replies (2) Good night (848) Bad night (1320)
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.

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  (870): I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward. http://tfl.nu/2glp
  Replies (8) Good night (1274) Bad night (659)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.

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  (734): He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked. http://tfl.nu/9iel
  Replies (3) Good night (1018) Bad night (570)
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.

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  (225): I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants. http://tfl.nu/c768
  Replies (0) Good night (1323) Bad night (529)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?

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  (914): He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message? http://tfl.nu/czyz
  Replies (7) Good night (1912) Bad night (417)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.

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  (520): This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina. http://tfl.nu/8kic
  Replies (9) Good night (844) Bad night (285)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.

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  (813): Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now. http://tfl.nu/4fdt
  Replies (13) Good night (570) Bad night (310)

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