Texts From Last Night

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  (503): View more from Oregon

  PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...

  (515): View more from Iowa

  Ur type is ready and willing

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  (503): PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type... (515): Ur type is ready and willing http://tfl.nu/9xaj
  Replies (13) Good night (1782) Bad night (709)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  how do you have sooo much energy?

  (571): View more from Virginia

  billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week

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  (703): how do you have sooo much energy? (571): billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week http://tfl.nu/czgq
  Replies (16) Good night (4578) Bad night (826)
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  (858): View more from California

  Life is so much better after having sex.

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  (858): Life is so much better after having sex. http://tfl.nu/blju
  Replies (39) Good night (11391) Bad night (871)
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  (631): View more from New York

  i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night

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  (631): i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night http://tfl.nu/0bmo
  Replies (20) Good night (1153) Bad night (6892)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him

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  (612): I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him http://tfl.nu/slwx
  Replies (12) Good night (4208) Bad night (1716)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.

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  (770): Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar. http://tfl.nu/qm52
  Replies (10) Good night (2256) Bad night (1466)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.

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  (614): You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you. http://tfl.nu/0odh
  Replies (8) Good night (2168) Bad night (778)
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  (760): View more from California

  I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.

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  (760): I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait. http://tfl.nu/31q4
  Replies (6) Good night (1436) Bad night (739)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?

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  (813): People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits? http://tfl.nu/du6g
  Replies (6) Good night (3250) Bad night (771)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day

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  (623): I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day http://tfl.nu/dbnn
  Replies (6) Good night (472) Bad night (794)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.

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  (512): I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles. http://tfl.nu/892f
  Replies (17) Good night (692) Bad night (1309)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.

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  (617): i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much. http://tfl.nu/n2r6
  Replies (0) Good night (648) Bad night (373)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots

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  (303): If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots http://tfl.nu/ozh0
  Replies (0) Good night (451) Bad night (409)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."

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  (615): Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get." http://tfl.nu/2nov
  Replies (1) Good night (289) Bad night (500)
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.

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  (641): They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave. http://tfl.nu/k7az
  Replies (0) Good night (180) Bad night (216)

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