Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.