There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me