ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
