Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
