Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
