I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
