My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
