I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
