So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
