if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
