You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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