whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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