I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize