I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
