So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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