do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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