Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
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