i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Randomize
