p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I want her autograph on my taint
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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