this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
