Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
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On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
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Is this like a preordered booty call?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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