Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
