Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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