plz talk dirty to me
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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